I wish our lives were a slate. What if I could erase all those memories or happenings in the past which haunt me even today. Sometimes its so difficult to let go… It virtually seems impossible. The only solution for these hauntings is to erase the slate… To let go……

Its guilt or unknown answers to questions buried  deep in our hearts that deceive us. I want to meet people who are my past not present and complete strangers maybe now. I really do. I want to meet them and apologise  or demand explanations for the happenings…. Who did what..Who said what..What happened when.. Its difficult to keep a log for all . Trivial as it may seem to me, the same might be grave for someone else. Apathy is we don’t realize that a certain moment might cause someone a hurt for the lifetime. I have nursed some hurts for so long and I might have been a cause for many others I might have not known… Most which I would never know. I wish I could know about every small and big hurt I have been a part of. Not that I can do a lot about  all that has happened already but maybe I can help let go….

  I pray everyday to help me let go. Somethings I have let go but most of them still remain with me…They keep pricking me. All of us wear a new happy face everyday to cover the wounded heart. Its sooooo difficult. New  bandages for bloody self respect,self esteem, ego make us seem gullible always…… Its becoming hard to believe that under those fancy masks live real people. I wish I could meet people without their masks and not requiring me to put up a mask. Like everyone else I have a elaborate collection of masks… I am tired of maintaining them….. 

I want to let go all masks!


It had been ages since I last thought of going out on a trek . For obvious reasons….The Migran and Esophegus valve have been troubling me for a long time…Only when I had just got into that RUT did I  come across a mail posted by my cousin Siddharth that he was planning a trek on Saturday…In the spur of the moment I decided I wanted to go and I called him and confirmed.. I had a strong will to backoff till the last moment but I did’nt ….. I was destined for this fun!!! 

The riot started @ 4:30 in the morning… A quick bath, packed sandwiches, medicines and water in my kitty, I was all set to roll…I was supposed to pick up siddharth and go to one of his friend’s place and proceed further… Thats what I did….I was at siddharth’s place at 5:30 in the morning… when he arrived down, he folded his palms in a namaskar and said “Namaaaaaskarrrrrr” in siddharth sytle.. (Those who of u know him, know which one I am talking about..This guy overflows of style n charisma :)) ). I was introduced to Siddharth’s friend “Vrinda”.. She was in for the fun roll too!!! I will be referring her as the “slient chirp”  from now on… This girl is Mute……. Really!!!!! The next stop was at  Dhurva and Ashwini’s….We parked my santro at their place and hopped into their Scorpio ..With Dhruva at the wheels, it was one crazy ride all the way… What I loved most of it was  the  mystic rebel in dhurva popup every now and then on a traffic goof up ( not to mention by others).. Assal matahi style comments made most of our 330 Km long drive fun and enjoyable…..

As per the plan we were supposed to conquer Mahimangad ( The name which I could finally pronounce correct all thanks to the efforts by Ashwini), and  Vardhangad… Both nearby to each other and both somewhere near to Phaltan and Satara… That might not be the exact location cause we encountered places like dahivadi,pisegaon,koregaon and numerous other maharashtrian villages…..

At around 9:30 we reached Mahimangad and after a sunscreen makeup and a 15 min climb uphill we reached the main entrance of the fort…The silent winds cooled the otherwise heated atmosphere….I have never experienced anything more refreshing than the these cool winds….After a good stroll around the fort and some good snapshots we settled around the open water storage tank (Taka).. When I dipped my reddened feet into the cool water it instantaneously had a claming effect on me. No pedicure can give u this kind of foot care….A few splashes of water on my face and the cool breeze caressing it almost felt like a mother (mother nature)  was comforting her child….Mother nature has been so caring to us in all these smaller and bigger ways, but we as ungrateful wards have forgotten to give it back to mother nature the same care n love that is bestowed upon us….

Dhruva ( the ace photographer) and Ashwini ( the helper AKA assistant) managed to get some groovy pics of kite insects and frogs. I never imagined these insects were such a beauty..Check out some of these cool shots he managed to take during our trek @ “www.flickr.com/photos/dhruva/“.  Little lurking and a few sips/bites of real juice and hide n seek biscuits were returned back to our SUV…..Next location was … “Vardhangad” ..It was 12:30 past noon and the sun really shone at his peak. We were hungry, thirsty and unsure about completing the remaining trek. ( P N:  Siddharth was never unsure of completing the trek..he always knew he were gonna complete it). On our way to Vardhangad we stopped at a small sleepy town… and manage to get into a shady Udapi joint to hog on our lunch. This joint taught us that food and water are never contaminated….Mostly it is our thoughts that are contaminated…. Ashwini predicted that this joint would not have any south Indian food although it was a ” Udapi ” joint and she could have never been more correct. A lunch full of Yummy Misal, Vada pav , and Batatavada Tari with some of the most soft and luscious Pavs I have ever had, we the mahila mandal, were off to shop for some fresh veggies at the local vegetable market. 

At around 2:00 pm were reached the Vardhangad village and another 45 min laborious climb latter we were at the entrance of Vardhangad. I was totally exhausted and  after a few sips of glucon-d and some shots of lemon I felt restored. Another  10 min climb and we reached the Fort Temple. The panoramic view of the rustic terrain of maharashtra spoke nothing but  about the beauty of  nature. In the temple shade the soothing sound of the melodies played by siddharth on his mouth-organ made me feel as if I was experiencing sheer bliss.

The climb down the fort was full of conversations ranging from memoirs of Himalayan trekking ( by Siddharth,Ashwini and Dhruva) to the Japanese culture. At 5:00 pm we started on our way back to Pune. As we approached the  “Wai” bypass Dhruva said ” should we vist Menavale?” and all of us unanimously said “YES” . A brief visit to River Ghat and a visit to the “Phadnavis Vada” we were on our way back . A small tea session at a roadside eatery aound the nook was our last stop of the journey. On the way back we played the  a small game called” Guess the TV series from the music of the title song” and the silent chirp won the game..Kudos………..

Back at  “Zhep”  we calculated the trek expenses and bid a Goodbye…. This marked the end of the trek…….. All this while the silent chirp was quite…..

The kind of happiness given by the beautiful Country-side terrain, Silence of nature, Good Company, feeling of achievement no matter how small it is.. can never be bought by any money or diplomacy….. 


PS: Dhruva taught us a lot about wild birds and we saw some different types larks, a wire tailed bird and some Dhobi bird too. ( I know dhruva u are dying to correct me.. Please go ahead)… Will the real bird watcher please stand up!!!!

PS Again: A little birdie tells us that Siddharth gets late night Phone-SMSes these days….I wonder what song he would dedicate to the late night calls… “A whole new world” !!!

 Last PS: check out some more snaps taken by Siddharth @ http://picasaweb.google.co.in/trekkersid/MahimanGadVardhanGad

Happy as I am now

Will I be forever?                                                                      




Scared that I wont

Should I remain forever?


Healthy as I am now

Will I remain forever?


Deceased that I would

Will I stay forever?


For haunting questions

Missing answers would I ever know?


Life is such a puzzle

Where did the way go?


Its not a topic that I can research on but far too many girls have faced the brunt of the whims of 20 something guys…. whooho ho before I start actually bitching about 20 something guys….I want to clear the air with all my guy friends… people its just what I have observed about 20 something guys for sometime now .. U many most aggressively differ but hey its my BLOG…..

I need to categorize 20 something guys first without which further introspection in this regard would be incomplete. As I categorize  u might end up having your own experiences to share. You are most welcome. Just pop-in a comment.

Johny Bravo: This category of guys never grow up. Even when they cross their 20 ees. They are all beauty with no space for brains.( I know  this has always been related with women but hey there are guys too who suffer from this syndrome.) These guys are the most self obsessed creatures around. They love to look good and flash around their + point (cause thats the only one they have)  all the time. Boy they love to market themselves and they do that well. But in a relationship they are a total disaster. Cause such 20 somethings can never go beyond them. All those girls with (only) great looking boyfriends ,its pretty easy to have ur way around this category. They are the easiest to manipulate. A little praise and they would ferry u to the moon. Off course u have to be a glam doll to pocket one of these.

EEEUUUUUU Commitment!!!!!! : There is a increasing trend of good, balanced 20 something men turn in to these now-a-days…And the graph increases exponentially. These guys dread commitment…. They do not dread the responsibility but they dread the bondage. They feel the world is not enough. (Thank GOD they do not have pretty girls on the moon or the mars..I mean not that i know of). The biggest concern for these guys is that they might have to settle down (they mostly think of it has a shady compromise) with a life long girlfriend. They feel now is the time for all the wild fun ….New places, new girls, new booze and new everything….. In a way that they forget that that all they need is the same old love that they have been showered on since eternity. Most of them end up  regretting only to come back to find all that love they left back has been flushed off long back. Phew ….if u are in a relationship ( I mean u go your way I go my way kind of a relationship) please try not to get emotionally involved with these guys….It hurts

 Hello I have priorities : (And you are the last) these guys always have priorities other than a perfect relationship. the list could practically go-on ….. career, family, ex-relationships , blah blah…They fail to realize that for one part of ur life to flourish you cannot stop living another. These people fail to manage the constraints…They fail to understand that for one part of ur life to flourish the others have to join in. One cannot live in packets. All those momas bys got to realize that its a thing to respect your parents and then its totally different to call urselves graduates frm IIT or IIM and still ask MOMA if u need to change ur underwear today..Crazy is it not. If you are one of those who have a thing for such a guys forget it… Its not going to work….. Its not worth the hassle.

The Interesting Lot: Umnnnnnn these might be the guys who would have the potential to be the dream guy for u. They are leveled to ground, they love equality, they have a strong sense of attraction for women who work, they are ambitious and love to share silly dreams and celebrate when each when of them is achieved. The problem is that a lot of guys pretend to be this category in the beginning but then turn out to be anything but this in the end. The problems is how do u know about the pretence…well i dont know about it.. Since pretence cannot take one far in course of time the real self is revealed. All u have to pray is that this    “Course of time” is not too long…cause then u might have already gotten involved…..

Gosh I never thought I would be able to bitch so much abt 20 something men.. I found my perfect guy and guess what he is not 20 something anymore :)))))))))


She asked: What if u had to search for a great guy for me?

He answered: I would gladly do it for u darling.


She asked: So what  should the guy be like ?

He answered:  He should be a loving guy… just like me

                        He should be a successful guy … just like me   

                        He should be a obedient guy… just like me

                        He should be a  guy who can sing love songs for u… just like me

                        He should be a  guy who loves to watch movies with you… just like me


                                                AND THE LIST GOES ON…

                                                FINALLY WHEN IT  COMES TO AN END….



She asked: So where will u find such a guy?

He answered: Look in your heart.  ITS ME!!!

Back to sketching and it feels great. I have not been sketching for a really long time and it had become more of a hobby from yester years. Well no more…I got a sketchbook and some graphite pencils.

I put them in a sketch kit and made up my mind to start sketching. This time I got all those fancy metallic pencils too. Venus traders is one place where u can get lost for hours and still not know how much time and money u have spent on stationary. Believe me u wont still be sure if that is enough. With around 1500/- spent on the sketching kit I had inspiration plus the resource to start sketching…. GOD I have started talking like a PMO member.. Well there is a reason for this too. Will elaborate on that soon. Maybe in the next blog.

When I actually went home and got rid of all this plastic rapping that keeps these sketchbooks , pencils, erasers etc perforated, I opened the sketchbook, took the new graphite 4B pencil in my hand and……. And I was lost…I was blocked. I could not think of anything that I could sketch…I freaked out.. I have never had this problem before. I knew I wanted to sketch, I had the sketchbook but could not go ahead and sketch.. Sahhhh depressing….. For a moment I thought that I have lost all the creativity working in this very mechanical world of IT. (esp the previous company I worked for.. I should have realized sooner that I was being used only as an glamorized version of a daily waged worker. This subject asks for another blog and I promise that will soon turn up on this space) .

Generally an individual tries to sketch what is going through his/her mind. A snapshot of the state of my mind is what I always attempt to sketch. Let me confess..I am not a great painter or a sketcher. I get immense happiness when I sketch that’s all.

This time I could not sketch Processes …..Quality….Career Path….Deadlines…. Its not as if I do not enjoy my work, but I have never looked at it from the perspective of a sketcher. Bad enough…. Only if I had, I could have managed to be a more creative person at work too…

The monsoon had just begun and it was only the second day that we were off the scorching heat. The clouds, the rains, the colorful umbrellas always make me feel different.. Different in a nice way . I remember the rain fun I have had in school n college every rainy season. I feel blessed every rainy season. I had not realized it until the second day when the mother nature got me back to spirits and finally I sketched my first sketch this season….

Rejuvenation to the maximum….

I am back to my yester years and ppl it feels great . 

Recently I came across some articles written about “Team creation and Team building”. Most of them mentioned about having a optimum team. Now what does that mean? To an alien it might seem like rocket science but the fact is that even for most who breathe in and out of these processes, it is like rocket science. The real pain area is that almost all organizations have a goals to accelerate the project results, improve on talent retention and have a better ROI on projects. Well this looks like the most obvious goal for an organization. Then how can teams performing play a part in attaining this goal?

With no background this looks straight forward. Get the best performers in the organization to build the best team. The first failure that comes to my mind with all star performers is “Real Madrid”. With Star players like Ronaldo, Beckham, Raul and Micheal Owen in the same team they could not create the magic which other teams created with relatively low cadre team in that season. So is it really that a team which has all the best performers always performs.

There has been much written in favor and against FET approach to build and maintain a team. I have been lurking around such debates lately on the net. I have come to believe it needs more than a cross sectional approach , a more lateral approach to build a STAR team. Mind you not a team with stars.

Teams which are created on short term basis like resources being picked up from the pool of available resources to build a new project team and then putting them togather to execute a project which is estimated to go on for not more than a few months, seldom reap benefits. If they do, it is purely accidental in my view. Not only the skill set but also the human nature and rapport the resources share with each (SNR) other should be considered while building a team. And they should be complimentary.

The most common model in which the organizations work is to have a dedicated team for a project which again has its own lag and heavy scheduled phases. With a more lateral view, the idea is to save the extra expenditure by rotating the resources off course keeping in mind the (SNR) mentioned above.

Staffing has always been a complex issue in organizations and experts have been racking their brains on having the perfect combination of staff that works. I am just an observer so might not have a good vision about the practicality of implementing “SNR” (entirely my term) with rotation. This might fulfill the need of a task force in the organization which can replace any resource in the organization working on any random task when required most obviously with least damage. Compartmentalization of SNR will only lead to tightly coupled and dependent atmosphere in the staff.

I know there are supporters of both ideologies. I am not an extremist in this regard. Its simply that I l liked the cocktail better.

So how do u like urs, on the rocks or a cocktail?